In May of 2010, a Korean news source reported that Hee Chul went into depression after Hankyung requested the dissolution of his contract.
After both of his dorm mates (Hankyung and Ki Bum) had left him, Hee Chul lived in seclusion, locking his door. He did not go on any of the stage…

thedorksquad:

1. It starts when they’re both trainees. Heechul spends most of his time with the other members of the Four Seasons, training diligently, staring at the mirror and constantly picking at their food. He tunes everyone out except for the other three, because when they debut, the world will only consist of his teammates.

But then they are torn apart and half of them are placed in another group (a better, more advanced group) and he is left to fall back to trainee status with Youngwoon.  He’s placed back in dance classes, bitter, angry and miserable. He’s determined to wallow in his resentment and build up walls that no one will tear down.

There is a foreigner, though, who moves with grace and precision and beauty and Heechul finds himself pulled out of a dark hole by the strong determination in Hangeng’s eyes.

2. Heechul stands on a stage with thirteen other people and this is the only time, he vows, he will allow himself to cry on national television because they have won, they have won, and all those sleepless nights and endless hours and blistered feet have cultivated into something worthwhile. He hugs Donghae and Hyukjae, who are both sobbing freely and pats Jungsu on the back, grinning ear to ear. He looks at all his band members and searches for his roommate.

This time, Hangeng’s face is filled with hope, bright and open. And Heechul stops for a brief moment, stops at the beauty that is Hangeng’s belief that things will only get better.

3. There is a crash and a yell and all Heechul can smell is fear throughout the air, because his mind has gone temporarily blank and Jungsu will kill him if he dies. His eyes are still open but he sees nothing until they tell him they have to operate on his leg and then all he can think about is pain, pain, and pain.

After the surgery, in which he remembers nothing once again (“It’s the anesthesia, hyung.” Kyuhyun says weakly), he sees the other members all gathered outside of his hospital room, dark circles painted under their eyes. He talks to Jungsu, allows Siwon to pray for him (“Just this once.”) and tells the younger ones to stop crying, for god’s sake.

He calls Hangeng in and now it is worry and care and all attentive detail on the quiet man’s features. He refuses to see the red eyes and tells Hangeng to take care of his cats, make him ramen even though Hangeng tries to persuade him to take care of his health, and go out to buy him white chocolate. Heechul keeps nagging and whining until the worry slowly fades. And Heechul breathes again.

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